No, not Ice T too! Criss Angel infected him with THE DOUCHINESS!! (Photo courtesy Tom Rutan)

As a new article reminds us everyday, you cannot be truly somebody in the world today unless you use Twitter, the micro-blogging service that allows users to post status updates of no more than 140 characters for all the world (or, in some cases, selected people) to see. Even more so than other forms of social media, Twitter has proven the great equalizer, allowing fans of TV, literature and movies to interact (somewhat) directly with their favorite actors and writers, enabling journalists and publicists to seamlessly connect and, of course, providing one more moving target for viral marketers and spammers.

You often see people post their daily “tweets,” or Twitter postings, on their blogs/journals/whatever, but typically reading those is akin to catching only one side of a phone conversation – it doesn’t really make a lot of sense. That’s kind of useless, annoying and honestly, a bit lazy (in my annoying and judgmental opinion).

But yesterday, a pretty funny exchange went down between myself and a few pals on Twitter, including writer Cynthia Moon Reed and my friend Mike, for whom you may recall I failed on national television. Cindi “re-tweeted” a post that illusionist Criss Angel, star of the terrible new Cirque du Soleil show, Believe, blasted Monday afternoon on Twitter: “Group of girls stops me for an autograph and one asks me when Motley Crue is getting back together. How would I know?”

And hence began the nonsense. Here’s the ensuing Twitter conversation, actually cleaned up and arranged for readability:

pjperez: Either a) they mistook crissangel for Tommy Lee or b) they assumed all douchebags hang out in a Clubhouse of Douche.

cmoonreed: Either way, I think it’s pretty damn funny that crissangel’s complaint seems to lack any spark of self-recognition or irony.

pjperez: He wouldn’t recognize irony if it was dressed as a giant man-eating rabbit and bit off his head.

cmoonreed: I actually thought that “Clubhouse of Douche” was the name of the bar in the Luxor.

pjperez: That’s actually R&R Partners’ new slogan for the LVCVA: “Las Vegas: The Clubhouse of Douche.”

cmoonreed: But a giant man-eating rabbit IS the plot of Mindfreak [pretty sure she meant “Believe” here]. And this LVCVA thing could totally be legit. I no longer know what is real.

pjperez: That is the magic of Vegas: Anything is possible. That you can beLIEve.

cmoonreed: If I BELIEVE in @crissangel do I get a free Max Factor makeover? Or perhaps a free drink at the new bar at the Luxor?

mikeyvegas is awaiting a future of open hostility from Mr. Mindfreak for pjperez/cmoonreed. No worries, I’ve got your backs, yo! Max Factor be DAMNED!

cmoonreed: I’m dying to know what his method of attack would be.

pjperez: What, is crissangel going to smear eyeliner all over cmoonreed and my faces? Or maybe throw a Playboy Bunny at us?

cmoonreed: I hope he uses magic!

Oh, Twitter, where would we smear Criss Angel without you?